It's less than 3 weeks until the end of the year now...Which means it's less than 3 weeks until Grubs first birthday.
Where on Earth has that year gone?
I'm not quite sure but it has had me thinking a little bit about his birth...and all that happened after! Now I've already told you a little bit about his birth in A Little Reminder but I wanted to add a bit!
It took a bit of getting started but once I was in labour it only lasted a couple of hours. This was on new years day...1-1-11 and the Geek was really keen for bub to have that as his birthdate but as it got later and later and nothing was happening I really didn't think it was going to happen for him. Once I was in labour and it was getting closer to midnight he kept patting my belly and saying come on bub you've only got 10 minutes to go, but I am pleased to say he made it just in the nick of time.
The Geek had mentioned that he wanted to do the "catching" and we ended up with a fantastic midwife who not only let him catch but also suggested that I use a birthing mirror. I had never been keen on the idea of a birthing mirror but the way she brought it up I didn't really feel that I could say no. WELL...best thing I ever did. Having the mirror gave me such a sense of control over the birth because I could SEE what was happening. It was amazing and I'm so glad that I did. If I were to ever have another baby I would DEFINITELY want to use one again.
Anyway, skip over the retained placenta and the true tight knot in his umbilical cord...Geek headed off to a friends house to get some sleep and I was wheeled onto the ward to try and get some sleep.
But sleep was not on the cards!
In the wee hours of the morning I had a hemorrhage and bled EVERYWHERE! I lost consciousness at one point...sitting on the toilet no less...and all I can remember thinking was "Lord, I'm not ready to leave my children yet"
Suffice it to say I scared the living heck out of myself!
The nurses were very professional and got the bleeding stopped and then call the Geek and told him what had happened and that everything was okay and that he should go back to sleep. One of the nurses told us a few days later that I had scared the living heck out of them too!
I was moved to a private room and basically was not allowed to move. I had a catheter and an IV and a blood pressure cuff was left on so they could check my BP frequently and I felt like I had tubes and hoses everywhere. I spent the entire morning stuck to the bed, unable to attend to my baby and completely covered in my own blood. They estimated that I had lost 2 litres of blood though when I had a transfusion a couple of days later the 2 units they gave me didn't bring my hemoglobin levels up anywhere near as much as they expected so it may have been more.
The Geek didn't turn up until about 11am, and I am assuming that being himself, when the nurse rang at 4 or 5 in the morning and told him what had happened, all he heard was the last bit...that everything was okay and to go back to sleep and he didn't really realize exactly how serious it had been. At least that's what I choose to believe, because when he eventually did come in he took straight off with the baby and went to show him off to the other dads on the ward.
I am, I think, a fairly sensible sort of person and in hindsight I can see it for what it was...a simple lack communication, but at the time postpregnancy hormones and extreme exhaustion made it hurt. I felt like I had almost died and nobody even cared. I actually struggled with it for quite some months and even now sometimes it catches me off guard and I feel that it took away from some of the specialness of Grubs birth.
I know that he won't remember that...nor will he remember his first birthday but I feel that I really want to try and make it a special special one.
His actual birthday will probably be fairly quiet as I think the family will all be here on new years eve anyway so we will probably celebrate then but that will be kind of nice I think. It will be nice to be able to have a biggish party but also to be able to celebrate with him as a nice little family.
I hope that as he grows up he realizes just how special he really is